In the spirit of that obscure alphabetized Mother’s Day ditty that begins with “M is for the million things she gave me,” we’ll take a lead from this week’s cartoon.

G is for the things that leave us guessing, like why it seems so easy for the school district to find money for some things and not others.

$17,000 for a stadium sound system? Ka-ching! $17,000 for a new press box? $16,000 for a fancy electronic sign? $69,000 for a bus to chauffeur middle schoolers to activities? Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching!

But I’m still listening for at least a ‘ka,’ let alone a ‘ching,’ from the school board to replace a deteriorating elementary school playground used every day for educating children. Hillsboro’s board initially found $55,000 for theirs, and more to finish it off.

R is for, what else, roads. It’s Marion County, of course. Good, bad, or indifferent, R is always for roads.

A is for auctions, for the money one of the best entertainment values rural life has to offer. I’ve been to three in recent weeks, enjoyed every one, and came away with all sort of things that will probably end up in an auction I’ll have someday. There seems to be fewer of them these days, but a couple of hours of laughter, suspense, and head-scratching is better than mowing the lawn.

S is for the city building’s new sign and its extra $755 of lettering. I’d be willing to wager that I couldn’t find one article about a person who got hopelessly lost trying to find the right door to go in in the 147 years this newspaper has been around. Perhaps that S also cound stand for “Seriously?”

The last S is for signing off, which I’ll do right now, before I dig myself in any deeper, and because I can’t think of a darned thing that putting GRASS all together could mean for any of our readers other than those that live in Colorado.

— david colburn