Day in the Country
By PAT WICK
© Another Day in the Country
Many years ago, more birthdays than I once could imagine, I read a book by C. S. Lewis. The title of the book was "Surprised by Joy." I liked the book and I loved the title. All these years later, I couldn't give you a single solitary quote from that great volume but I do remember the title with relish: Surprised by Joy.
Two weeks ago, when I sat down to write my column, I almost wrote on this topic — surprise — because I love surprises and what better things to be surprised by than joy? And all this was contemplated long before I actually got the BIG surprise of my life for my birthday.
Sometimes our lives get so predictable, so mundane, so boring, hum-drum, expected, that we can hardly be surprised by anything at all! How does this happen? I've been wondering if this happens because we've lost sight of joy and instead expect the bad and sorrowful things? Or perhaps, out of fear, we've temporarily misplaced our diligent watchfulness for the unexpected? Whatever the reason, we tend to see what we expect to see — same-same — it's a psychological principle!
It's like driving home down a familiar road from work and not noticing the landmarks along the way. We put ourselves on auto-pilot with our mind engaged elsewhere and before you know it you are home again and couldn't tell another soul anything that happened along the way, even though you navigated it safely.
Auto-pilot can be dangerous, though, just as expecting the predictable can be dangerous. We've all experienced this — whether it was with your child or your mate who've you just known forever and you become so familiar with the same behaviors that you can tell them what they are going to do before they even do it. It leaves little room to be surprised by joy! It leaves little room for change or growth.
One of the reasons that I used to love coming to visit Ramona through the years, before I actually lived here, was that element of surprise. Everything was new, to my adult eyes, while still somewhat familiar to my child eyes. So in this old familiar place, my child self could now experience surprise at every turn. Isn't it enchanting to be surprised at the grocery store by a stranger who recognizes me? Aren't the people who still inhabit the town quaint and unusual? Isn't the fact that my cell phone doesn't work a charming relief? Aren't all the small town inconveniences a nice change of pace? This was an adventure and I was constantly being surprised.
Now for the folks who had been here forever, there weren't a lot of surprises in this same venue. "You just don't know what it's like to live here," my Aunt Gertie would warn. The kind of surprises that I was seemingly enthralled by were old-hat to her and probably a tad annoying.
It really threw me on my ear, so to speak, last week when I was surprised by Joy and didn't even recognize her standing on the sidewalk at the airport. When some young woman stood holding a sign saying "Happy Birthday, Mom," and I didn't even see that it was my own daughter, you can imagine my amazement, my chagrin! I was so firmly believing that I'd see one thing that I wasn't even looking at all. I expected to see my sister coming back out the airport door. I expected a whole city of strangers coming and going but I wasn't expecting to be surprised by joy, and have my daughter from far-away California standing on the curb in Wichita — even though it was the day before my birthday and everyone knew that I loved surprises!
Well, that's my gift to pass on today. Don't just go slogging through the next 12 hours anticipating the same old thing. Watch! Look! Listen! Really, do it! And may you, too, be surprised by joy on this, another day in the country.
