ARCHIVE

From the Sidelines: Time to get up off the couch; if you can

Sports reporter

I'm out of shape.

Not that I've ever been in great shape, except my two seasons of high school wrestling, but still, I'm really out shape.

The easy solution would be, well, to get in shape. Go run, lift weights, buy and actually use a TaeBo DVD. All easier said than done.

But last week against my better judgment, I decided to go for a run. The plan was for two miles. After about one-half of a mile my legs felt like a ton of bricks, and my heart was beating faster than Jeremy Vondenkamp in the 110-meter hurdles.

I know, sad.

While I was running and breathing like I'd been running for hours (it was more like five minutes) I started asking myself why anyone in their right mind would run a marathon. The only run I'm a fan of is a home run trot.

After the marathoners were out of mind, I started thinking of the middle and high school athletes on the track team who would be ashamed at my performance.

I imagined what it would be like if they were running with me. Seventh through 12th graders jogging backward, passing me, and yelling, "C'mon Norris, pick it up."

As I finally gave in to the pain, stopped, and began walking with my hands over my head, I was reminded not only do I despise running, the five minutes afterward feel like you've been wrung through one of those ball cleaners on a golf course.

Brutal.

It's not like I've never run before. I've always been able to run a mile or two, but I never liked it.

Now, after actually doing something besides walking for the past year, it's obvious I'm going to have to live by Bill Murray's motto in "What About Bob?" to get back into shape: baby steps.

Which reminds me, my son should be starting to walk this summer, maybe we can learn to run together.

Quantcast