One Woman's View
Fifty or 60 years ago my parents subscribed to a magazine with a cartoon feature called "Check That Impulse." It is true that the impulses depicted in those old cartoons needed to be reined in. However, I have come to believe that most of us let too many good impulses be inhibited by our insecurities. If you get the urge to do something which will not hurt someone else, more often than not you should, as the Nike ads tell us, "just do it."
I got to thinking about this on Independence Day, when I attended the festivities at Ramona, where they had a karaoke machine. I had always thought karaoke sounded like an activity that would be a lot of fun — but for other people, for that fortunate group who can actually carry a tune. As I listened to others singing, a neighbor sitting next to me said, "Jane, why don't you get up there and sing?" I doubt if she was really serious, but I suddenly thought, "Why not?" After all, what was the worst that could happen? I could make a fool of myself; it certainly wouldn't be the first time.
Believe it or not, I sang "Four Walls" in front of a whole street full of people. As far as my tin ear could tell, I stayed more or less on pitch. A few people told me I sounded pretty good. Even if I didn't, it was fun. I have finally learned that you do not have to excel at something to have fun doing it. If I get another opportunity to sing karaoke, I probably will.
The older I get, the more likely I am to go with my impulses. For the most part I think I have more fun than the people who do not. I have a Santa's elf hat I wear during the Christmas season and a leprechaun hat for Saint Patrick's Day. With the latter I usually dress all in green and wear a button which reads, "Giant Leprechaun." A couple of years ago I wore that outfit to a Learning in Retirement program. A very dignified older gentleman gave me a puzzled look and said, "You know what inhibitions are. You don't have many. Do you?" I told him I got rid of those a long time ago.
My seasonal outfits may look pretty corny, but they make people smile, perhaps even chuckle. Surely there can be no harm in that. I may even offer others the permission to give way to their own impulses. One December I was in a fast food restaurant in Salina when a young man, apparently in his 20s, seemed to enjoy my elf disguise. Reaching the cashier at the same time I did, he paid for my lunch, put an arm around my shoulder, said "Merry Christmas" and walked out the door almost before I knew what hit me.
A few weeks ago I passed a house belonging to a friend who is now in a nursing home. The yard was full of a variety of beautiful flowers. I thought it was a shame she could not be there to enjoy the flowers in which she had always invested so much effort. Then I thought, "Why not take some to her?" Those inhibitions I claimed to have outgrown tried to throw up all kinds of roadblocks. What if someone saw me trespassing in my friend's yard and picking her flowers? How could I explain myself? Could I do the job without scissors, which I did not have with me?
Fortunately I did not check that impulse. I had no trouble picking the blooms without scissors. Nobody had me arrested for trespassing. I think the flowers brought a lot of joy to my friend, and I know taking them to her brought a lot of joy to me.
Children are often better than adults at following the impulse to give joy to others. When I do substitute teaching in elementary school, one or more of the students usually color a picture or make something for me. Some of those gifts stay on my refrigerator for quite a while.
Often becoming an adult brings a lot of unnecessary qualms about whether such a gesture will be thought silly or childish or even in some way self-serving. Perhaps I'm entering a sort of second childhood. More and more I'm regaining the ability to follow my heart, to go with my impulses. If someone wants to laugh at me, then I have given that person his laugh for the day. He may not have had one otherwise.
If you happen to be in the crowd the next chance I get to sing karaoke, don't worry if you think I'm embarrassing myself. I will be having fun. If my singing off key offends your ears, don't listen.
— Jane Vajnar
