CORRESPONDENTS: Ramona years ago
By JESSICA GILBERT
Ramona correspondent
(785) 965-2621
Ramona's 4th of July parade was the best yet, with more than 50 entries, most of them reflecting the "Redneck in Ramona" theme. The Makovecs won first place in the float division, and were awarded the coveted "Most Redneck" prize as well. Their float — Roamin' in Ramona — was created by the Makovec brothers — Gail and Ron. It depicted a redneck family in their recreational vehicle, talking a vacation — the best they could afford.
"What's sad is that everything we needed for the float was either something my brother, Ron, had in his yard, or he was using it!" laughed Gail. The brothers created an elaborate redneck RV, which had every accouterment for a family excursion. Gail, dressed in camouflage with a gun resting on his shoulder, sat next to a metal cage that had some critter trapped there (labeled "Sunday supper"), while Marissa stood at the barbecue (she threw out hotdogs wrapped in foil), Shaina and her future sister-in-law, Dana Beltz, served drinks, and Dana's parents, Mike and Linda, enjoyed the ride.
Ron Makovec drove the tractor that pulled the float, but it was much more complicated than that. "We hooked up an old mower to the tractor and attached a couple of chaise lounges to it, where Sheila and Amy (the brothers' daughters) were sunning themselves," explained Gail. "Then the float trailer was attached after the mower — there were a lot of parts to our float."
The Makovec brothers even had a commode on this RV — an old toilet that Ron had in his yard and he'd planted flowers in the toilet bowl.
"We dumped the dirt and flowers, and attached the toilet to the back of the float," said Gail. "After all, this was a redneck RV that had every luxury!"
When the Makovecs reached the judging stand, which was in front of the post office, Ron's wife, Renee, jumped off the float, went back to the commode, pulled out three hotdogs, and handed them to the judges as a "bribe."
When I commented on some of the funny aspects of the float — like the redneck GPS system, which consisted of Ron's son, Adam, and his cousin, Lawton, perched in the bucket of the tractor, one looking through binoculars and the other holding a road atlas (upside down) — Ron laughed and said, "You can tell I just have too much time to think while I'm out in the field."
On the day of the parade, the redneck GPS system wasn't functioning well. "Every now and then I'd jump off the float and run up to where my nephews were perched in the tractor bucket and 'adjust the GPS'," said Gail. "I'd bop Lawton on the head, so he'd turn the atlas right side up."
Capturing second place in the floats division were Ramona's newlyweds — Zeb and Norma (Bird) Wright. Norma's daughter, Fern Leach helped the couple put together the Redneck Honeymooners, where Zeb in his overalls (about to fall off) is fishin' and Norma, holding a rolling pin, is keeping Zeb in line. Both have "black eyes" from one too many fights.
The Redneck Christmas, which was the float created by Tooltime Tim, Pat, and myself, won third place. We had cousins from California visiting, so naturally, they got incorporated into the float.
Our cousin, Rhonda, who drove the truck, looked so redneck, she inspired an idea for next year's event — "We need to have a Miss Redneck contest next year," said Pat and I simultaneously.
Rhonda emerged from the bathroom with curlers dangling in her hair, red lipstick drunkenly applied, a bra strap fallen off her shoulder, a baby (doll) under one arm, and a cigarette (which she bummed off somebody) about to drop from her lips. As we rolled down the parade route, her husband, Glen, kept pointing at her and yelling: "That there is my woman — she's a cousin once removed!"
As for Pat, Tim, and me, well, we were dressed in varying degrees of "distasteful." Pat was pregnant and barefoot (just pretend
Also receiving recognition was the Ryff family with their Redneck Yacht Club entry. Donita Ryff and her sister-in-law, Terry (Larry Ryff's wife), created this float by using a rectangular-shaped stock tank for their boat, and making a sail out of an old pop-up camper top, with a sheet attached to it. Behind the "boat" were two tires attached with ropes, where Alyssa (Dennis and Donita's daughter), and Kimberly, (Larry and Terry's daughter) rode with their children.
When I talked with Dennis after the parade I commented on the clever concept of the Redneck Yacht Club. "It blew my mind too," admitted Dennis, who didn't know his wife was going to make a float. "I was out working until about three in the afternoon, and when I got home, here it was!"
The final float to receive an award was the Stika Sisters, Lisa Hanschu and Lori Moldenhauer, and Lisa's daughter, Anna, and friend Shayna. They created "Redneck Holidays" — you know you're redneck if you don't take down the decorations from the last holiday, you just put the news ones on top. So Anna and Shayna had Christmas trees, on top of pumpkins, on top of Easter bunnies, valentine decorations, and 4th of July,
"The funny part was that our entry was truly redneck," laughed Lisa, who was the announcer for the parade. When Lori and the kids took off to come to town, there was a train on the tracks, and they couldn't get into Ramona. So, Lori had the girls jump out and start decorating while they waited.
"They had duct tape for holding things down," said Lisa, but they ran out. "So some things got stuck in place using the girls' bubble gum that they were chewing."
When Anna arrived to register her float, she announced: "We have a new redneck joke, mom: You know you're redneck if you decorate your float while you wait on the train, and when you run out of duct tape, you use bubble gum to hold it together!"
Other parade winners were: Jim Thompson and his daughter, Cassy, from Ramona with "Redneck Storage."
"Cassy kept bugging me about doing something for the parade," said Jim with a grin. "So we took the trailer that's setting full of stuff and hooked it to the van." As Jim explained it, city folks have dumps, rednecks have "storage piles" — nothin' gets thrown away 'cause it just might come in handy some day!
Art Stroda of Ramona, won first place in the vehicle division with his "Lawnmower Wrecker Service" — "You break it, we take it! Parts is parts!" It was a very funny entry since it was a lawnmower (with red towing light on it) towing another lawnmower. Art had created a towing rig that was a replica of a tow truck, only smaller. Art's brother, Jim, drove this entry.
Tied for first place was "Redneck Fishin" created by Julie Noeth and Tonya Ecklund of Ramona. The folks on their float were fishing with rakes, "because the fish have buck teeth." They were re-enacting a VISA commercial: Bait $15, Beer $15, Deciding what to buy with your last $15
The Town Spirit Award was won by the city of Hope. The entry featured Mayor Calvin Davis. When the mayor received an invitation to have a float in Ramona's parade, he called Carol Rickenbrow at the bank and appointed her and several other gals there, to be on a committee to come up with the float. They came up with three!
The winner was the Redneck Gas Station, although all three entries were wonderful! "I was tearing down an old house, and thought of a way to use some of the lumber to make an old-time gas pump," said William Rickenbrow, Carol's husband. "We borrowed a gas hose from the Navarre co-op, and on the back of the float a sign read: Our Gas will Blow You Away." The float had funny gas tanks, made of metal cans stacked on top of each other, featuring every kind of gas imaginable — even gas from beans! The mayor operated the gas tanks, and was wearing a pig's snout, and making jokes about being a gas hog.
Winning first place in the kids' parade entries were the Deines cousins, Dustin, Dylan, and Mackenzie, with their entry "Cruzin Redneck Style." Second place went to Brian Haden of Salina, and third was awarded to Rodney Coons of Herington, for the clever school desk that was transformed into a Nascar racing entry — complete with racing wheels, speedometer, and Dale Earnhardt's signature on the desktop. Fourth prize went to Harold and Betty Ohm's grandkids from Platte City, Mo., with their version of the Redneck Yacht.
The animal parade entry was won by the Riffel brothers, with their goats, and the "Redneck Lawn Service." Is your lawn too tall? Is gas for the mower too high? Redneck Lawn Service to the rescue, we'll graze/mow your to perfection, with free fertilizer included.
The Redneck in Ramona parade marshals for 2008 were Al and Darlene Sondergard. They are the longest married couple, 65 years, and Al was born in Ramona. They both graduated from Ramona High School, and operated the Ramona Garage for two generations. The Sondergards still live in the same little house on E Street.
That's just a sampling of the Ramona parade. Next year, be here! That way, I won't have to repeat it all. (A little redneck joke).
The parade judges had a tough time this year, with so many great entries. The lead judge was Brendan Bailey, former Ramona mayor, and his wife, Michelle, and an out-of-town visitor, Kerry Armknecht from Kansas City. Brendan and Michelle recently bought a home in Ramona (previous home of Naomi Fike).
Ramona's 4th of July began with the Redneck Run at 8 a.m. There were more than 55 participants. Overall winner of the race was Eddie Banda of El Dorado, his time was 11:21 for the two-mile course.
Byron and Julie Noeth, coordinators of the run, create unusual medals made of metal — from bolts to steering wheels. I received a lovely, large metal object (I want to say it's a carburetor, but I don't know car parts
The Country Breakfast had a bumper attendance this year, serving more than 130 guests — so many guests, in fact, that they asked Pat to run home and get more eggs from her chickens. The proceeds from the breakfast benefit the Ramona Senior Center and the Park Improvement Committee. Doing the cooking were city council members Jeannie Goza and Angel Harold, along with senior center president Darlene Sondergard, and treasurer Myrna Eskeldson.
The seniors also had a cakewalk later in the day, organized by Myrna Eskeldson of Ramona, and Iona Dietrich of Tampa. The group made more than $80, which is fantastic considering each player paid just a quarter to participate. There were a lot of fabulous cakes, cookies, and pies on display at the senior center as enticement.
The play area for children was popular this year. This was a new attraction, inspired by Don and Kathy Matkins, who saw this giant inflatable play toy for children complete with water slides and mini-pool. Residents in and out of town were invited to help purchase this new attraction so that the city would have it for future events. The following families made this dream come true: Deines Farms, Warren and Paula Fike, Rick and Barb Hanschu, Don and Kathy Matkins, Kenny and Lisa Stroda, the Tajchman kids (Vickie, Jackie, Clay, and Scott), Gail and Marissa Makovec, Tony Meyer, and Harold and Betty Ohm.
Kacey Nickel, a Ramona resident from the country, won the shot put at the Redneck Olympics. He threw a car starter 25 feet, seven inches. His nearest competitor was Jim Thompson at 23-5. In the hubcap toss the adult winner was Rhonda Richard of California, who successfully threw six hubcaps through a tire. (I tried this, and it's really quite challenging.) Devin Richard of Missouri was the winner among the children; he threw five. The toilet shoot winner was Jim Thompson who successfully threw nine rolls of toilet paper into the toilet bowl and his son, Dallen won in the kids' division. Dallen tied with Solomon Brunner — both threw 10 rolls of TP into the commode.
In the seed spitting competition, Kacey Nickel was again the winner, spitting a watermelon seed 27-2. Cassy Thompson was the children's winner with 21-2.
Beer-bottle bowling winners were Glen Richard of California, who tied with David Bura of Missouri. Kids' winner was Jordan Richardson of Missouri.
The coordinators for the Olympics were Byron Noeth and Jayme Brunner, of Ramona.
In the real sporting event — 3-on-3-basketball, coordinated by John Antoszyk, the boys' high school winners were Bryant Brunner, Dustin Geissert, and Anthony Scott. The 7-9th grade winners were (girls) Cacey Simons, Bryanna Svoboda, Mackenzie Deines; and (boys) Kordell Harding, Spencer Fugitt, and Mikael Antoszyk. There also was a boys' team and girls' team from grades 3-5, but no other teams to compete with — so the girls played the boys. "The boys beat us, of course," said Shelby Pankratz, with spirit. Her teammates were Alexis Kendrick and Jordon Richardson. The boys who emerged victorious were Marshall Fike, Jackson Fike, and Cole Srajer.
The Redneck Toy Show winners were: Chris Stuchlik with his Plymouth car, winning the Judge's Favorite. The Most Unique went to Walt Dietrich with his Studebaker. The Most Original Redneck award went to Jon Gehrke with his Chevy pickup, complete with broken shocks.
The best car/truck award went to Ron Makovec, with Best Decorated to Brian Hayden. Of the ag-related vehicles (which included mowers), Billy Jack Riddle won with his tractor. "This was my uncle's tractor and I used to drive it when I was a kid," said BJ. "I just bought it back, so it's here in Ramona, now."
The best-decorated mower award went to Harlan Brown, who's a friend of Dan and Connie Smith of Ramona. Harlan's mower was impressive, with frivolous decoration, like a flamingo, and impressive embellishments, like a truck horn that made you think a semi was behind you!
Adam Makovec brought his canoe to the competition and won the trophy for marine toys. Scott Davis and Luke Ricketts won in the off-road category with their three- and four-wheelers.
Rodney Coon, with the redneck desk mentioned earlier, won in the un-motorized division, with Kiana Haden also winning with her kids' Jeep. In the motorcycle division, the winners were Justin Richardson and Solomon Brunner.
Jeannie Goza and her son, Luke Ricketts, organized the toy show. Collin Bailey judged the event.
Jacob Jirak of Ramona won the kids' pie eating contest,. As for Spam Carving, the winner was Betty Roth of Navarre. Betty carved a beautiful little piano out of Spam, complete with sheet music. There were 10 competitors who did some impressive carvings — horses, wedding cakes, and sunglasses among them.
The Redneck games were coordinated by mayor Pat Wick and vice mayor Art Stroda, along with Tooltime Tim who had all the tires for the game course. Teams of four were asked various redneck questions and depending on their answers, got to make their way around the game course to retrieve various items — skillet, TV, dog, recliner. Mayor Wick invited teams from neighboring towns to participate, along with teams of family and friends. The Lincolnville team has been proclaimed the redneck city for this year.
Music was on the streets of Ramona all day long thanks to the karaoke of Jack Emig and Jesse Nelson. Jack is Kathy Matkins' dad, so he's always glad to come entertain on the 4th. We feel like all the great ol' country western singers are in Ramona when Jack is here.
No event is complete without great food and I stopped long enough to enjoy some of it this year — sweet potato fries, funnel cakes, and corn on the cob from Jirak Farms. We were all crossing our fingers that the corn would be ready!
The fireworks finale made us ooh and ahh more than ever — our redneck rockets were even set to music. Connie and Dan Smith have purchased the display for the past few years, and it just keeps getting better. The Smiths also let the city use their large field for igniting the display.
On the west end of the field the Smiths have their red barn and this year a huge flag was mounted to the side of the barn. "The flag was a vision that our friend, Paul Jones, had when he was living here," explained Connie. "And when Paul died we decided to put up the flag in his honor. His friend and co-worker, David Frantz, made the flag pole, and the metal was donated by Meyer Pipe and Metal."
Well, there you have it — a summary of Redneck in Ramona on July 4th — but by no means, all of what happened. Folks in town and in the country worked together to make Redneck in Ramona the finest yet. Folks made redneck signs for the streets, people donated money for prizes and new attractions, some gave pop cans so we could string them across our city streets for redneck banners, businesses gave prizes, and committee members worked countless hours before and after. What made it all so gratifying was the crowd that came to enjoy it all.
I had friends from McPherson who showed up and entered the parade. "Seeing the faces of the children said it all," said one. "You can see the delight in their eyes."
"The community spirit is amazing," said one of the vendors. "I've never seen anything like it, and we visit lots of towns. We want to be part of it again next year!"
Indeed, it is the spirit that makes it all worthwhile. The morning after the 4th, some of us were out picking up trash, taking down decorations. "It went great," pronounced Art. "I've got an idea already for next year," chimed in Jeannie. "A real triumph!" I concluded.
The team that worked for months to make it all happen was John Antoszyk, Jayme Brunner, Jessica Gilbert (chair), Jeannie Goza, Lisa and Ronnie Hanschu, Angel Harold, Don and Kathy Matkins, Byron and Julie Noeth, Luke Ricketts, Dan and Connie Smith, Darlene Sondergard, Tim Steinborn, Art Stroda, Pat Wick. And then add helpers, volunteers, judges, sponsors, parade entries, and vendors. Wow! This kind of teamwork is like human fireworks!
And that's the news from Ramona where all things worked together for good on the 4th of July — even the weather. Oh, P.S. When you're out plowing your field, start thinking about Redneck in Ramona 2009!
