Ramona
By JESSICA GILBERT
Ramona correspondent
(785) 965-2621
Ramona's 4th of July was absolutely stellar — the best ever! The delight in the day certainly didn't come from the weather — we got drenched in the middle of the afternoon, after many of us had our parade floats decorated. The delight came from the dedication and inspiration of about 20 people who created and participated in the event, and didn't let rain dampen their spirits.
This year's theme, Redneck in Ramona, came from the inspiration of Ramona's newest residents, Byron and Julie Noeth. When the Noeths moved to Ramona a year or so ago, I asked Byron if they'd like to be on the 4th of July committee.
They came to the first planning meeting and suggested a fun run — Julie is a runner — early in the morning on the 4th. The Noeths named this new event the "Redneck Run," and even though we had already announced the overall theme of the parade to be "Down on the Farm," it was evident that this interjection of "redneck" really sparked fun and creativity in folks. So we decided to just call the entire event "Redneck in Ramona." It had a certain ring to it.
The night before July 4, committee members, along with other town residents, gathered on Main Street to string soda and beer cans on heavy twine to make our sparkling banners that hang across Main Street. That was my sister's idea. Usually I purchase banners to string across the street (which usually don't hold up against the Kansas wind), but when I suggested that this year, my sister said, "Hey, we should really do something redneck. Why not string soda cans."
The banners went so well that Julie Noeth suggested we make "wind chimes" and hang them on the porches of downtown buildings. As the sun went down, we were all quite pleased with our creations. Main Street was sparkling and clinking.
One of the buildings on Main Street still had Christmas lights on it (because I hadn't gotten around to taking them down) so we just turned them on and put up a sign that said, "You know you're redneck if you leave your Christmas lights up all year 'round."
On a telephone pole as you entered town was a sign that said, "You're entering redneck country."
Fifty folks signed up for the two-mile Redneck Run early on the 4th. Julie and Byron were super organized so when folks arrived they were handed an envelope with their name on it. Inside was a snappy T-shirt and a run number (each person's number had a different redneck joke on it and were even laminated in case it rained). Many people came in costume, which made the run even more delightful.
Julie Noeth's mom, Amy, had a "redneck I-Pod" in her back pocket, as part of her outfit. It was a cassette player with earplugs dangling from it and the words "Redneck I-Pod" written on red duct tape. Julie took a pair of old cowboy boots and cut off the soles so she could wear the "boot" over her running shoes. I wore coveralls, which meant I was like a running sauna by the end of the event.
Winning the best redneck outfit award was Kasey Kickhaefer, who wore cut-off overalls, cowboy hat, and she even had a piece of straw dangling from her mouth. Runner-up was Ramona's own Junior Hanschu.
Ramona's oldest citizen, 95-year-old Tony Meyer was coaxed out of his house to watch the race begin. He was still wearing his pajamas and Tony's version of slippers (an old pair of Navy shoes with the toes cut out), with a hat on his head to shield his eyes from the early morning sun. "I'm sure glad you came and told me to come outside," said Tony, who waved to all the runners as they ran by his house.
The prizes for the run were created by Julie, who took junk and made trophies with it. Winners all received ribbons with some kind of washer or metal object dangling on the end of it. As people progressed in age, their awards got larger and heavier.
Winners in girls 12-and-under: Molly Mercer, first, (18.18); Anna Weber, second, (18.25); Shaina Kreimer, third, (20.26).
Boys 12-and-under: Houston Svoboda, first, (16.07); Grant Srajer, second, (17.14); Max Svoboda, third, (18.00).
Girls, 13-19: Danielle Cope, first, (13.45); Leah Thompson, second, (14.37); Lucy Collett, third, (18.35).
Boys, 13-19: Kris Mueller, first, (12.00); Hank Collett, second, (12.07); Rustyn Kerbs, third, (12.24).
Women, 20-49: Bethany Carlson, first, (15.24); Kasey Kickhafer, second, (16.50); Julie Noeth, third, (17.11).
Men, 20-49: Ethan Gruen, first, (13.40); David Thompson, second, (14.38); Russell Moore, third, (14.50).
Women, 50-79: Amy Moore, first, (20.46); followed by Jessica Gilbert and Diana Floyd.
Father Paul Oborny won first in the men's 50-79 division (18.50) followed by Junior Hanschu.
The overall winner of the race was Kris Mueller who ran the two-mile race in 12 minutes flat. He received a trophy made out of a house jack that Julie and Byron found on their property when they moved to Ramona. Kris was delighted with this rather gigantic trophy and was captured on film kissing it, in true athletic showmanship.
The Country Breakfast, featuring biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs and sausage, was another addition to Ramona's 4th of July line-up. A group of Ramona residents donated the ingredients with proceeds divided between the senior center and the park improvement committee. The breakfast was so popular we're looking to having it in a larger space next year.
While the weather was a challenge, the afternoon storm didn't dampen the sports enthusiasts who gathered at the park for horseshoe and basketball competitions. Seeing all the cars surrounding the park, and the crowd of people enjoying the park facilities brought many of us a lot of joy. The bathrooms recently erected by Art Stroda and the park improvement committee got initiated!
David Frantz emerged the winner of the tractor competition. I believe Dave has won most years. Dave's hobby is tractor restoration. Dave's tractors won best restored, oldest of show, best decorated, and judges' favorite.
Tim Steinborn's John Deere won the Ramona Lemon Award — an original trophy made of hubcaps and plastic lemons created by Ramona's vice mayor, Art Stroda.
The parade started at 7 p.m. and featured the most creative entries yet. The Utech family won first with the "Down on the Farm" theme, which they've been working on since November. The 1927 Model T Ford pickup that Fred Utech drove with Marguerite by his side, was purchased new by Fred's father, William, from the Ramona Garage. The vehicle was stored in Fred's barn for years and this past November taken in for restoration. Fred got the truck back just days before the 4th of July parade. The two oldest Utech sisters, Edna and Erna, carried a family banner, which was followed by the truck. In the truck bed were Utech family members all dressed in antique costumes with more relatives walking behind the truck with rakes and other farm tools. Junior Utech led the group in singing "Grandpa Utech Had a Farm."
The first place prize was $50 from Cow Camp, Inc. of Ramona, which provided all the prizes for the float winners.
Second place was Tim Steinborn's entry of "Down on the Farm," which was inspired by the old WWI song about the challenge of keeping the boys down on the farm after they've seen Paris. Pat and I were dressed as show girls in front of the Eiffel Tower, which my sister constructed out of cardboard. (The Eiffel was drooping dangerously after the deluge of rain that hit prior to the parade, but with a little duct tape, she towered majestically once more.) As usual Tooltime Tim was the star of the float wearing a pair of "Alabama Cut" coveralls, which means the belly part of the coveralls was removed. John Holecek of McPherson was visiting on the 4th so we put him on the float, too. John wore a military uniform from the Dirt Gambler's museum (miraculously John got into my cousin Glen's Naval uniform that Glen wore at 18), and handed him a couple of suitcases and he enacted the dilemma of choosing farm or Paris. Will Bernhardt drove the float dressed as a Frenchman. (This is what happens when you drop by to visit on the 4th of July — you're enlisted to participate!)
Third place float was "Grilled Chicken" created by Julie Noeth and Tanya Eklund of Ramona. An old pickup had railroad ties arranged across the back, making the truck bed into a redneck barbecue. Julie's mom, Amy, was outfitted as a chicken, roasting on the grill.
In the kids' entries, Tyler Bentz was a winner again, pulling two wagons and in one of them was a calf that Virginia made out of wire and paper mache. In another wagon Tyler had eggs and chickens too, and a sign that read: fresh eggs, fresh chicken, and fresh milk and cream
Another winning entry was "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy," where CJ Thompson rolled down Main Street in a toy John Deere tractor while Bryanna Smith followed, pulling her little red wagon and blowing kisses CJ's way.
Cassy Thompson won by enacting the redneck joke, "Mow your lawn and find your car."
In the adult parade division, both first and second were won by the same family — the Shepards. First place went to Jennifer's day-care where she had the kids in a redneck swimming pool (stock tank), and second went to Lance Shepard for Shepard Meat Goats featuring one of the rams from the Shepard flock, pulling the Shepard kids in a cart.
If there'd been a winner for best parade entry depicting the redneck theme, there's no doubt that David and Jane Staatz would have walked away the overall winners! (They won first prize in the car division). David transformed an old car into a "Redneck SUV." Jane (in curlers) was in her recliner in the back of this car, with grandson Mathew beside her. She had a remote control in her hand, which, of course, gets her the best "Direct Redneck" from the satellite dish that towered above her. The TV was duct taped to the hood of the car that David was driving. "This redneck SUV even had a solar-powered dryer for doing laundry," teased David, referring to the array of redneck underwear that dried in the wind as they drove down Main Street.
These are just some of the funny highlights of nearly 50 parade entries for Ramona's 4th. Announcing the parade, as well as the games after the parade was Lisa Hanschu.
As to the best place to watch the parade, well, Collin Bailey would say it was his yard, right at the start of the parade route. Indeed, Collin, did add a lot of humor to the whole redneck scene in Ramona. He began his "yard art" early in the morning as Redneck Runners were gathering to begin the race. (Collin's house is on the east side of the street by the starting line.) First Collin parked his old jeep on the lawn, then a defunct Route 66 sign, tree branches, a canoe, barbecue, birdbath, airplane propeller, flowerpots, and other paraphernalia. A seven-foot stuffed dog was perched in the jeep because Collin said that every redneck vehicle either has a dog in it or on it. And after everything was in place, Collin appeared and reclined amidst his creation. "I just moved my backyard into my front yard," Collin said with his usual drawl.
Collin's front yard was so popular that he had 20 folks or more watching the parade from his vantage point. "I had so many people in my yard that I thought I was going to have to bring my sofa from my front room out onto the lawn," said Collin. "Merv Deines has already reserved his seat for next year!"
After the holiday I teased Collin that we should have had a parade of redneck homes because Collin has a knack for "redneck decorating." He's trimmed his living room windows with duct tape — camouflage duct tape!
Maybe next year, because Redneck in Ramona is going to be around for a while. After all, we just got warmed up with Redneck Relays (races using recliners), and food contests. Winner of the Redneck Relays was a father-son team from Colorado, John Socolofsky and his son, Zack. Zack also went on to win the corn-eating contest. The kids did a pie-eating race, which was won by Josh Mercer of Ramona.
The young ladies of Ramona danced to "Country Boys and Girls Down on the Farm" for the audience. One week before the 4th of July the girls met with Julie Noeth every day for an hour to learn the dance routine Julie created. Anna Weber, a seasoned dancer at the age of 12, also performed a dance number with her friend, Shaina Kreimer.
For folks who wanted activity but nothing so strenuous as corn eating, there was the senior center cake walk or Belgian horse and wagon rides given by Jonas Frantz of Tampa.
Of course, the finale is always the fireworks and the resounding declaration was that this was the best fireworks ever. Connie Smith, one of the major sponsors of the fireworks, along with Tampa State Bank and an anonymous donor, had plans to add music to the "redneck rockets" this year, but the threat of rain took all electronic equipment inside for cover. Fortunately the sprinkles were just that, and the fireworks filled the night sky with wonder!
The 4th of July planning committee already has met and begun plans for next year. "Let's add a scavenger hunt," said one. "Let's do yard art with the old dead cars people have in their yards."
So, keep track of those Redneck jokes, start ruminating on a float idea, and plan now to be in Ramona next year on the 4th.
We may be a small 4th of July celebration, but we're definitely memorable! And that's the news from Ramona where things are quiet again, and a traffic is two parked cars and a dog in the road.
