Ramona: Don Bird's life eulogized
By JESSICA GILBERT
Ramona correspondent
(785) 965-2621
Have you ever considered how you'll be "summarized" when you depart this earth? I thought about this a lot Saturday as my sister and I drove home from Herington after Don Bird's funeral service at the Methodist Church where he and his wife, Norma, were members.
Don's service was created so family and friends had the opportunity to tell a story or share a sentiment about him. I love funerals like this because it brings such joy to a solemn occasion.
The grandchildren represented the family and as they stood before the assembled guests. It was often quite emotional and took great courage to stand and share their memories, while their hearts were broken about their grandfather's departure.
"He was the strongest man I ever knew," said Rachel Beausolei Fenske. "He could hold a sledge hammer by the handle and lift it up to his nose." (Norma told me later that her granddaughters would bring home their boyfriends and have Don do this "trick" and even the young guys couldn't pull this off.)
"He is my inspiration in my marriage — he loved Grandma so much," said Jenny Beausolei Davis.
"My dad died when I was seven," said Katrina Frederick, holding back her tears, "and at school when we'd had father-daughter events I didn't want to go because I didn't have a dad to go with me. But Grandpa came and said 'We're going together'."
"I hadn't planned to say anything, but I decided to anyway," said Michael Shearer. "Grandpa loved to tell jokes and sometimes when we were together he'd tell a joke that was a little off color." (Don's wife, Norma, was on the front row, smiling and shaking her head at her grandson.) Michael continued, "I went to school and told one of those jokes once, and got into trouble." The audience erupted with healing laughter.
"Grandpa was always there for us," said Matt Leach with dignity. "When my car would break down on the way to school, he'd be there to get me going again no matter how early in the morning."
And when folks from the audience had a chance to speak my sister, as current Ramona mayor, acknowledged Don's service to the community as past Ramona Mayor. "Don was a 'get er done' kind of guy, and I know he was challenged sometimes as he tried to get everybody to march in a straight line," said Pat. "We're all a bunch of quirky individuals in Ramona."
But the thing Pat and I remember most about Don was his fervor about how the town should look. Don would sometimes have strong opinions about city policy or the action he thought should taken, but if he ever came on too strong, he didn't hesitate to come and apologize. "The measure of a man, in my book," said Pat at Don's funeral, "is whether he has the courage to say he's sorry. I don't know many men who can do it. But Don could."
Several folks talked about how he was always helping people — anybody could ask for help and he'd be there, and he didn't expect any payment. "That's just the kind of man he was," said his granddaughter, Jenny.
"He came and helped my son, Caleb, work on his pickup," said neighbor and city council member, Angel Harold. "Don was a gardener and so was I," said Angel. "And we'd talk while he helped Caleb. He was a good neighbor."
I saw Don about a month ago and when I stopped at the house he was in the garage trying to fix something on the car. I remember looking at him and thinking how frail he looked and wondering if he should be in bed resting. But Don was not a "resting" kind of guy. If he had any energy at all, he was expending it on someone or some project.
"We all depended on him for so much," said his daughter Fern. "Why, just before he went into the hospital again he changed the oil in my car," added Norma. "He always took such good care of me."
The night before the funeral I took some cinnamon rolls over to Norma's, and as I walked out to my car I went past the pile of sand by the driveway. "So what project didn't you get done?" I asked Don in the night's silence. "What dreams did you have that didn't get done?"
Indeed, Don's sand pile and cement mixer are a memorial to a man who was constantly looking for ways to improve his surroundings. "I figure God took Grandpa to heaven because He needed some cement work done," said grandson, Matt, in his tribute to his grandfather.
As I listened to everyone's remarks at Don's funeral service three things kept being repeated: Don loved helping people, he loved telling jokes, and he adored his family.
"We would have celebrated our 50th anniversary on Oct. 2," said Norma with tears in her eyes. "He died in my arms and that's just how I wanted it to be if he had to go," she added.
Don died Aug. 2 at the Salina hospital. "It's ironic," said his daughter Fern, who also lives in Ramona. "He was born Sept. 2 and his wedding anniversary was Oct. 2, and then he dies on Aug. 2."
Don struggled with a rare form of leukemia for five years. He's been in and out of the hospital for three months, but just last week they administered a new drug and his body seemed to be reacting positively to it. "Why, on the day before he died he was talking about maybe getting a scooter so he could get around easier when he went home," said Fern. But in the end it was his kidneys that determined his fate.
"We were all at his side," said Fern. "We all had our time to tell him we loved him, and we heard him tell us he loved us, too. When he died at around 9:15, he looked just like he was asleep and would wake up at any moment. We all sat with him for a couple of hours and cried, told stories and shared laughter, until the funeral home folks arrived."
Every part of Don's funeral said something about the man. The military was a big part of Don's identity — he served in Korea and twice in Vietnam — so the service closed with "Taps," and the military ritual of the flag presented to Norma.
Don loved music, especially country western and the final song that was played at his memorial was a sentimental western song that had the words, "I'll stroll over heaven with you."
Indeed I can just imagine Don's already conferring with the Lord about pouring some tidy sidewalks to make the stroll lovelier for everyone who follows.
Quite a few Ramona residents have celebrated birthdays recently. James Weber turned 16, which is an auspicious birthday. On July 18, the family went to dinner in Salina and took in the movie, "Click." "A few nights before his birthday we had a family gathering," said James's mom, Lisa Hanschu, "with my folks and my sister's family."
A few days later the family had another celebration of life when they participated July 21-22 in the Relay for Life at Marion. "We were part of the Tampa team, which had six cancer survivors," said Lisa, who is a survivor herself. "The first lap around the track is for the survivors and as I rounded the final corner on the home stretch my children were waiting for me, and came running up to give me a hug and I just lost it and fell into tears," said Lisa.
The team walked from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. "We had somebody on the track the whole time," said Lisa. "It was really amazing. There was pizza at midnight and entertainment all night. Ronnie came and walked with me at two in the morning. My sister, my niece, my mom, my kids, my husband — all were part of the event."
Another Relay for Life took place Friday in Council Grove. Warren and Paula Fike's daughters were part of that event. "Sandra and Steve (Deines) came and stayed with us after the relay," said Paula. "Of course Linda and Dan (Peterson) were a part of the event too."
Jane Staatz celebrated a birthday Aug. 1. "I just took off and went to see my grandmother (who just turned 100), my dad (who's still in Marion Manor), and then to see my husband's sister, who lives out on a farm," said Jane. She shared that her plan was to be out of reach of kids and grandkids for an afternoon. She was taking a birthday break!
Tim Steinborn celebrated his birthday Aug. 5 by going to the rodeo. Tooltime Tim loves bull riding so we took him to the Abilene Rodeo Wednesday night — the night the rain descended. We sat in the truck waiting to see if the rain would subside and when it turned into a sprinkle we went to the stadium, made some "rain gear" out of giant trash bags that we brought along, and weathered the storm so Tim could take in his favorite pastime.
We saw Ronnie and Lisa Hanschu there too. They took in two days of rodeo and the demo derby on Sunday night. "We're going back on Monday for the combine demo derby," added Lisa.
Mark Brunner has a birthday Saturday, but according to his mom, Orvell, birthday celebrations aren't on everybody's minds because it's "fair time!" That means cattle shows for Brunner Beef. As I write, the grandsons, Tanner and Bryant are still at the Abilene fair showing cattle in the Round Robin Showmanship event happening Monday afternoon.
Tanner won fifth place in overall steers but Bryant did not win anything.
New arrivals are an attraction whether it's "fair time" or not, and Orvell and Lauren Brunner added to their great-grandchildren a couple of weeks ago when baby boy, Cole Randolph, was born to Chelse Brunner and Jared Smith. Chelse's dad is Mark Brunner, also of Ramona.
Since it's summer I decided it was time to schedule some visits with family before school starts (several of us go back to work when school starts). So, Pat and I, along with our mom, Martha, took off for Wichita Thursday to see mom's sister, Frieda Struebing and our cousin, Becky Struebing Peoples.
And that's the news from Ramona where a traffic jam is two parked cars and a dog in the road!
