The sounds of silence: Deaf couple cope with hearing world
Staff reporter
A bird singing, a car honking, a baby crying are sounds most of us hear and don't think much about.
But what if we couldn't hear a smoke detector or a train whistle or a child's cry for help?
The world of a deaf person is challenging. The deaf must adapt and the hearing world isn't quite sure how to respond.
Meet Amanda McLinden, 26, and Tony Gardner, 30, of Marion.
Both lost their hearing at young ages.
"My mom said I had chicken pox and a high fever when I was 9 months old," Amanda said. Doctors didn't realize she had hearing loss until she was 4.
Tony's hearing loss was caused by a spinal disease when he was 15 months old.
Amanda wears hearing aids but has to be face-to-face to communicate. Tony used to wear hearing aids but his hearing loss became too severe for the aids to help.
Through sign language and lip reading, Amanda is able to communicate with the hearing world. She is able to verbalize and enunciates her words clearly. Tony's world is the written word and sign language.
The couple's most important challenge is raising Tony's 3-year-old son Dakota, who can hear.
"I taught basic sign language to Dakota when he was 7 months old," Tony said through signing. "Dakota knew sign language before he learned to talk."
The tough part, Tony said, is when Dakota is playing in the yard or at a playground. Tony can't tell Dakota to watch for cars or hear Dakota if he's in trouble. Two dogs help alert the family of danger.
For deaf parents, there are baby monitors that vibrate or light up when a baby cries, Tony said. The couple no longer needs one with Dakota because he is old enough to communicate.
Technology has played a major part in allowing people whose hearing is impaired to communicate with the hearing world.
The couple have a video relay service that allows Tony and Amanda to have telephone conversations.
When one of them wants to make a call, he or she activates a video phone that works with a television set. A camera is activated so an interpreter can see the caller, and the caller can see the interpreter.
Through sign language, the deaf person is able to make a call and communicate through the interpreter.
If sign language is not possible, the conversation can be typed on the screen.
With this new technology an interpreter can relay a conversation in real time between a deaf caller and a hearing person on the other end of the line.
The service is free and operates through a DSL Internet connection.
Amanda and Tony also are able to receive calls. By calling a toll-free number, others are able to call the couple.
Customer service through the system is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
The equipment is paid for with federal grants through American with Disabilities Act.
The technology is far more advanced and user friendly than traditional TTY or TDD.
TTY rings via a flashing light or vibrating wrist band and consists of a keyboard that holds between 20-30 character keys, a display screen, and modem.
The letters that the TTY user types into the machine are turned into electrical signals that can travel through regular telephone lines. When the signals reach their destination at another TTY, they are converted back into letters, appear on a display screen or printed on paper.
If the message is going to a hearing person with TTY, an operator will read the typed message from the sender and type the return message.
The process is not instantaneous and not everyone who receives calls through this method is aware of the process.
Another challenge for those whose hearing is impaired is a presumption that a deaf person also is handicapped in other ways.
"We're just people," Tony said.
When deaf people are engaged in conversation through sign language, hearing people sometimes don't understand what the couple is doing.
"One time a friend and I were driving and signing," said Amanda. "Someone reported us to the police because they thought we were fighting."
It's not unusual to see Tony and Amanda communicate as Tony drives.
"It takes some getting used to," Amanda said.
For Tony, it's second nature.
A blacksmith and saddle-maker by trade, now a laborer, Tony moved to Marion a year ago from Nebraska.
"I came to Marion to start a new life," he said.
He and Amanda met through a mutual friend.
"I attended a deaf camp in El Dorado and met a friend of Amanda's," Tony said. "I came back to Marion to work on Amanda's van. We met and I fell in love with her."
Has the couple experienced discrimination? Not in Marion, they responded.
Amanda has been a Certified Nurse Assistant for more than nine years, the past five at St. Luke Living Center, Marion. Tony currently works for an individual.
"Sometimes people don't realize I have a hearing impairment and I need to see them talk to understand," Amanda said. "But it's been no big deal. It hasn't hindered my work."
They are determined to live lives of their choosing and to raise Dakota as a family. They do not see themselves as being different.
However, they are not oblivious to how cruel the world can be.
"I will fight for my rights if discrimination occurs," Tony said.
